Holy cheesesticks and crackers! There are only 63 days until I get on out of here, and I am so excited and nervous and everything all at once. Shit is starting to get real, bitch!
I have recently met a lovely Indian woman who is a friend of my Grandma's whom I'm going to go stay with in Chandigagh in the north west of India. She was so lovely and sweet and made me so excited to go I nearly wet myself. On a down note, I have begun researching insurance, and fuck me is it expensive. I almost choked on the cracker I was consuming when the quote for the first site came up, $490! What the balls do these people think, that I have a flipping coin hedge out the back? I had to maintain the rising level of panic within me, trying to convince myself that there'd be cheaper options. I was wrong. So wrong. And I'd really be inviting fate to have a good old kick at me if I didn't get insurance. A necessary evil. Like injections, but even shitter. I want to cry. I feel like having a massive tantrum and then slumping onto the floor weeping like a spoilt child in woolies who doesn't have enough pocket money to buy a 'pop n suck' lollypop or whatever the fuck those things are. The cheapest I could find it was $400, and I still want to tear out my eyeballs in protest. To be fair, I'll still be able to get to India, I'll just have to join the starving beggars when I get there. Ahh Jessa, you are being dramatic you say. Yes. Yes I am. How am I supposed to survive in India if I am getting 17 hours of work a week? I need another job, but who is going to employ me when I go away in two months? So many shit things to think about with all the time I have not working. I considered prostitution, but I think the cons outweigh the pro's, so I'll let you have that idea for free. I also considered investing in an emergency credit card, just to have incase the shit really hits the fan, but the thought of having a debt at nineteen struck me as having had the shit already hit the fan so, you can have that one for free as well. I have also been thinking about maybe putting off my trip for another month, waiting until the end of July. June it pisses down with rain almost constantly, and I could really do with the extra month of pay, but it would require changing my flights which would be tricky and potentially involve cost... And I wonder why I wake up in the middle of the night freaking out? And it's not about travelling alone, or the dangers of India or anything, that'll all be fine I'm sure. I'm worried I'm not going to have enough money, and that I'm going to get incredibly homesick. But I suppose this is all part of growing up. I'm shitting myself, but I'm excited. A bit like starting high school again. Sort of. Not really. But kind of. I feel a bit nauseous, thinking about all this stuff makes me have panic attacks. I can't really breathe. I'm starting to tear up...
I'm only joking. Sort of. Not really.